Aila
Zander graduated from Lil' Learners preschool in Redwood City, California this morning. He proudly galloped across the stage to receive his preschool Finisher's Medal, grinning deliriously and passionately waving to Mom, Dad, Declan, Viviana, and Aila. In a commemorative "Class of 2016" program, Zander said that he likes cars but not books. And when he grows up, he wants to be Captain America.
So I left the note on the car that I'd hit yesterday. And I waited and waited for someone to call, but no one did. I had thoughts throughout the workday that it was my boss's car. Or maybe the car of my boss's boss. Or a car of someone I really didn't like at Stanford. I checked my email on my Ipad this morning and didn't look at my phone until I had to head to Stanford. There was a message, and I had to listen to it twice to believe it. I had hit the Mercedes SUV belonging to the Chair of my Department!
So I was doing five things at once, running late as usual, while I drove down El Camino on my way to work this morning. Aila had just woken up as I was preparing to leave, and I was scrambling to give her hugs, make sure that she had clothes for the day, and going over plans with my father (i.e., please, please take her outside into the sun). In the first two miles of the drive, I'd already sent a text to a student and called a research family. I called Brian in the final three miles, and I was speaking to him as I pulled into the parking lot at work and looked for a space. I saw one of my bosses walking across the parking lot, and I waved. I was easily ten minutes late to see my client, but I was relieved when I saw her at the parking pay station, as that meant she was not yet in the waiting room counting the minutes that I was tardy. So talking to Brian about extended family dynamics, making eye contact with my client, thinking about Aila, and drinking diet Mountain Dew, I pulled into the closest empty space, sandwiched between a Mercedes and another nondescript car. 5 mph, maybe 6, and I heard a thud. My client at the pay machine and a few others looked in my direction. "Brian, I just hit a car," I said. "It's fine, no one is hurt," replied my loving partner.
I enjoy writing and always have. Keeping a record for Aila and our family here in this blog has seemed perfect and right from early days after her diagnosis. But I've always been aware of my audience and have therefore avoided many topics that I feel may cause upset or uproar. It's in my nature to want to please, after all. I am most comfortable in the universe when I feel like I'm doing right by others, and they are happy. I'm usually willing to work very hard to reach that point.